Tough Questions - The Journey Begins

So I decided to take the leap. Do a total reboot on my religious beliefs. I have to know that my beliefs are my owns and no one else's.

I started with asking some tough questions that have always been in my mind but I was too terrified to bring out to the surface. These were almost blasphemous and surely such questions would stir the wrath of God and I would be struck down. Or so I thought.

I realized that God, if he exists as I was told, would be much bigger than these questions and could handle the scrutiny. So here goes:

1. Does God really exist? What proof other than, " Just look around nature and see the proof"? Sorry. This is not good enough. While nature is magnificent, it COULD be the result of billions of years of "evolving" and growing. I need something more as proof.

2. Is the Bible really God's word? How did we get this Bible? How do we know there are not other books that belong in the Bible and perhaps some that are there that do not belong? Who was and is the final authority on these issues?

3. Did Jesus really exist? Do we have solid or close to solid evidence outside of the Bible for His existence? Surely the Son of God would leave such verifiable evidence behind. After all, He performed miracles when He was on the earth to prove who He was. Now we do not have such proof of miracles. Do we have proof, outside of the Bible, that these miracles indeed occurred?

4. Does the Bible condone slavery by its lack of condemnation of it? Doesn't it even talk about how to treat slaves? Why would an all-powerful God allow such wretched behavior as one human owning another?

5. Why would the Bible allow women to be treated as a lower class humans? I realize that this was the culture, but God could have commanded that we treat all people as equals.

Here are the really big sticking points for me:

6. How could God create us and this situation where he knew BEFOREHAND that millions and millions he created would be tortured for eternity? If I had that knowledge there is no way I would create what He did. This seems almost cruel to do so knowing the result.

7. Why would a God condemn people to hell who never heard of Him and had no chance of hearing? There had to be thousands and thousands of people dying after the kingdom was established that died never hearing of Jesus. How can that be considered just to send these people to hell? How many thousands or millions have died in this condition? This seems the polar opposite of justice to me.

8. What about the contradictions in the bible? Yes there are some and I have heard explanations. Some I buy and some I do not. Some supposed contradicitons are ridiculosly taken out of context. For example we are commanded to honor our parents, but Jesus tells us to hate our mother and father. This is clearly not a contradiction but a contextual matter. There are some real concerns. For example, the order of creation in Genesis; who was present at the tomb after ressurection; a rabbit chewing cud; were the apostles commanded to take a staff or not? These are just a few that seem to be real contradictions.


These are just a few of the questions I have. Just to be clear, I have no anger towards God. I just have these nagging questions that have been buried for so long. If I don't deal with them, I will never be able to truly be free to serve God.

I have researched some of theses questions and I must say that Christianity seems to be on very shaky ground. I must maintain as much objectivness as possible. My desire is put all the evidence out there and make a fair decision based on the facts.

and the journey continues...

What in H3ll Am I ?

Am I an Agnostic, Atheist, Christian, or New Age fellow?

Hello and welcome to my blog. No one may ever read this and respond. I guess I hope someone does and it will turn out to be a stimulating, thought provoking debate. Otherwise it will serve me well as a way to step away from myself and digest this journey.

Here is the scoop on this blog:
I am a 41 year old religious mess. I was brought up to believe in God. We were luke warm Methodists during my childhood. We would go to the annual Homecoming service where my parents grew up and occasionally darken the local Church doors during the year.

As I got older- teens - we found a Methodist church and went quite regular. Pretty boring stuff. I remember taking the money I was going to put in the offering and buying cigarettes on the way to church. My parents hadn't a clue.

After I graduated high school my brother had made good friends with a good ole Bible thumping, hell fire southern Baptist. I guess that is an unfair description. He was/is a nice guy. Anyway, we went to a revival and sure enough my brother and I asked Jesus into our hearts and we became southern baptists much to the chagrin of our parents.

As the years rolled on I married, was shown the true way of salvation in the Church of Christ where I remain today. The Church of Christ is pretty strict, more so than the Baptists if you can believe that. After a period of time I was terrified to sin and not immediately ask for forgiveness in fear of dying and going to hell.

As you can imagine this was quite stressful as I had ADD and slight OCD and have a hard time praying. I was in constant terror. This was not the church's fault. I just interpreted a lot of their legalistic views in such a way that created this fear.


I would occasionally have doubts about God's existence or Jesus' resurrection and that would throw me into dark, abject fear. One day a light bulb came on and something clicked. In order for me to be the best Christian possible, I had to put these doubts and fears to bed so I decided not to take the word of my parents, preachers, and wife about the Bible being inerrant and the only way to heaven.

I decided to start over from square one. Do a total reboot. Find out what the truth about God is. If he is all powerful and desires for us to have a personal relationship with Him, then this should be a doable task. In this blog I will share with you my journey.

To start off with there will be several posts as I get you up to speed as to my current progress. I must admit that I am SHOCKED at what I am possibly discovering about the Bible, it's origins, inerrancy and believability. I have asked some tough questions about God, his "policies", and justness.

I pray almost daily to God that if he exists to show me the TRUTH about him and how to serve him whether it be through the Bible or other means. I do not wish to be brain-locked into one way of thinking simply because I like what I am feeding myself. I sincerely hope that if God does exist he will see my sincerity when I say I want to know ONLY the truth and know it beyond all doubt.

Thank you for joining me on this journey and I look forward to honest, hard, productive dialogue.

Sincerely,

What in H3ll am I